Just about all of us have heard the phrase "Fake it til you make it." Sounds like good advice, right? Well, maybe sometimes... The problem with this is it encourages people to not be themselves, and is, well... fake.
We all want to be successful, happy and recognized. We all want to be with that perfect person. But in reality everyone is flawed, and we need to accept that and see the best in others. Of course we should believe in ourselves and try to improve, but some people think so highly of themselves (sometimes in order to impress people) that they act like the world revolves around them. And then many others follow along so they don't look bad. You can call this a "social arms race."
The way many parts of society perceives introverts is a problem. Many who aren't "outgoing" are shunned. Introverts have their own set of strengths, often less external. For instance, refusing to get even with someone (although tempting) can show greater strength than people who are quick to fight back.
I decided to write this after (again and again) hearing several girls say they don't like a certain guy because she doesn't think he has enough confidence; I've frankly heard enough. My hope is that at least one person benefits from this.
Judging others by how confident they seem to you is wrong. We don't know what people are going through. Look past the surface to see good qualities people have. Rather than neglecting someone and making things worse for them, support them. It makes a difference.
Confidence comes and goes in different aspects of life. Everyone has situations where they are confident, and other situations where they are not. Some people have confidence during calculus tests, but not as much when it comes to dating. Other people are just the opposite.
It's great if a person feels good about themselves most of the time, but don't demand that it be a piece of cake for everyone else. We all have distinct weaknesses, and we need to be open with others rather than bottle ourselves up and pretend everything is dandy. This hinders us in being able to serve others, since so many of us "look" like we're doing fine.
The Atonement of Jesus Christ helps us to overcome weaknesses, but not all our problems will go away in this life. Have patience, including with yourself, and reach out to help others more often.
Everyone will make it by being their best self. I promise.
We all want to be successful, happy and recognized. We all want to be with that perfect person. But in reality everyone is flawed, and we need to accept that and see the best in others. Of course we should believe in ourselves and try to improve, but some people think so highly of themselves (sometimes in order to impress people) that they act like the world revolves around them. And then many others follow along so they don't look bad. You can call this a "social arms race."
The way many parts of society perceives introverts is a problem. Many who aren't "outgoing" are shunned. Introverts have their own set of strengths, often less external. For instance, refusing to get even with someone (although tempting) can show greater strength than people who are quick to fight back.
I decided to write this after (again and again) hearing several girls say they don't like a certain guy because she doesn't think he has enough confidence; I've frankly heard enough. My hope is that at least one person benefits from this.
Judging others by how confident they seem to you is wrong. We don't know what people are going through. Look past the surface to see good qualities people have. Rather than neglecting someone and making things worse for them, support them. It makes a difference.
Confidence comes and goes in different aspects of life. Everyone has situations where they are confident, and other situations where they are not. Some people have confidence during calculus tests, but not as much when it comes to dating. Other people are just the opposite.
It's great if a person feels good about themselves most of the time, but don't demand that it be a piece of cake for everyone else. We all have distinct weaknesses, and we need to be open with others rather than bottle ourselves up and pretend everything is dandy. This hinders us in being able to serve others, since so many of us "look" like we're doing fine.
The Atonement of Jesus Christ helps us to overcome weaknesses, but not all our problems will go away in this life. Have patience, including with yourself, and reach out to help others more often.
Everyone will make it by being their best self. I promise.
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